Helping your preschooler understand instructions with several steps

Preschoolers understand more and more of what people say, but an instruction containing several steps can still be difficult. Your child may hear, ‘Put on your shoes and then get your coat,’ yet do the steps in the wrong order or complete only the first one. Words such as ‘tomorrow’, ‘before’ and ‘after’ are also becoming easier to understand, but may not always be clear yet. Notice which part of the instruction your child understood, rather than judging only whether the whole task was completed. This can show whether the difficulty concerns the sequence, a time word or one particular action. You can then adjust your next explanation to that specific point.

Make the order clear when you give an instruction. You might say, ‘First take off your shoes. Then we go inside.’ Put natural emphasis on ‘first’ and ‘then’, and say difficult words more slowly and clearly. As a practical suggestion, you can give one step, pause briefly, and name the next step afterwards. This is a general way to make information easier to follow, not a rule that every family must use. Adapt the wording to the situation and to what helps your child understand the message at that moment. You could also check whether the first step is understood before giving the complete instruction again. Keep the wording calm and concrete so the sequence remains easy to notice.

If your preschooler carries out the instruction differently from what you meant, calmly restate it instead of immediately saying that it was wrong. For example, after saying, ‘Before we go inside, take off your shoes,’ you can clarify: ‘Shoes off first, and then we go inside.’ The source specifically gives this kind of reformulation as a way to help a child notice the intended order. If needed, repeat the sequence once more in the same calm way. A useful general step is to observe whether the child follows the reformulated version, without turning that observation into a judgment. The focus remains on making the intended information easier to hear.

Everyday routines offer natural opportunities to practise, including getting dressed, tidying up or leaving the house. From time to time, give a short instruction with a clear sequence and notice what your child follows. Conversations, reading aloud and ordinary activities also expose children to language and new words. A feasible next step is to write down a few examples for one week: which instructions worked and where the order changed. You can share those examples with school if you want to discuss which wording makes explanations easiest for your child to follow. Keep the record brief by noting the words you used and the step your child did or missed.

Sources, accessed on 2026-10-26

• Nederlands Jeugdinstituut
• Nederlands Jeugdinstituut